The Surprises and Gifts of Grief

Patty shares her journey with grief. Her father passed away in March (7 months ago) and she’s opening up about how it has impacted her. 

Taking care of her father’s estate gave Patty time to connect with her feelings and her grief. She explains how grief provides us with the natural ability to open up to receiving. 

Here’s what she discovered. 

Whatever it is that you want more of, you have to make space for it to show up. What is it that you can let go of that isn’t serving you? 

Patty explains how you can do this for yourself; you don’t have to wait for grief in your life. Hear how you can open up for more by letting go with grace. 

Discover, let go and learn to receive.

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Transcript

Welcome to the wealth and purpose podcast where people who are led by their hearts come to learn the secrets to creating wealth in a way that feels really good and live their purpose fully in the process. I’m your host, Patty Lennon. I’m an ex type-A corporate banker, turned intuitive business coach. I’m also a wife, a mom to two pre-teens, a professor, girl scout leader and well Hey, you get it like you I wear a lot of hats, whether you’re looking for inspiration to get started or strategies to get growing. I am here to help you create abundance in every area of your life in business. Welcome. 

(00:40) Hey there. So we are back with another episode about my journey through grief, and if you haven’t heard some of the past episodes, I’ll just catch you up. My dad passed away in March, and as I’m recording this, we are in October of 2019, and it’s been an interesting journey. It’s fascinating to be walking this path again. My mom passed away seven years ago, and although my relationships are different to my mother and father, I was close to both. Both have been hard losses, and yet because I walked it with my mother already and know what the other side of that grief looks like, I’ve been able to navigate this journey differently. Part of it’s because my intuitive gifts are much stronger than they were. Um, when my mom crossed, it was actually her passing that really opened my gifts wide open and made me a pure channel for the other side of the veil. 

(01:46) So when my father crossed, I was immediately able to talk to him, and I didn’t question it, and I didn’t doubt if it was really him, and we had been doing some healing work, whether he knew it or not. I had been doing some healing work around my relationship shift to him when he was younger when I was younger before he passed. And it was actually much easier to continue with that journey once he was on the other side of the veil because he didn’t have any of his baggage around, you know, what had happened, which wasn’t horrible. It was just an environment where he was very demanding, and my soul was probably a bit softer than what that demanding nature would have thrived in. And so it’s really what led me to becoming that type-A personality that I was for so long. And now I’ve been on this journey these last 10 years, really releasing that control-freak nature of mine. 

(02:48) Although I think my family would tell you I haven’t done a complete job of that. And so this, this year, since March when he passed, am the executrix of his estate. And so it’s all been about managing all of that without getting too grippy around any of it. And so last week, Friday was the closing on his home, and the level of grief that I experienced was, was shocking and not because it doesn’t make sense that you would feel grief around that, but it was just a very different quality than what I had ever experienced through either of their deaths. There’s, there’s something jarring around losing the human person that you love. But if you’re not someone that is really consumed by material things, which I am not like, I love our home, and I love having a car and all of that, but I just have never been the type to get really excited about expensive purchases. 

(03:57) So things just don’t really drive me. And I knew there were so many memories inside of that home, but that it was not the home that I grew up in. So I thought it would be hard. I just didn’t know it would be a different loss, and I honored what, you know, that it needed to be something. So I gave myself space around it, and I came to the condo that they lived in early in the morning, the day of the closing. So I would have some time alone there. And it was a beautiful day. I’m here in Connecticut, they lived in the same town as me, and so it was this beautiful day, and I was, um, I came into the apartment, and the heat was on high, high, high, high. Something must’ve malfunctioned with the heating valve. And it was impossible for me to stay inside of the unit for very long, and it immediately went out to the porch, and I could just feel them there. 

(05:05) Both my parents standing together, I was taking pictures of all the rooms and the, and the, the, you know, the view off the porch just in case somewhere down the line. I’d want it to have that. And when I had gone back and looked at the pictures, later on, I saw that there were in the pictures of the outside, the view from the porch, which was when I was talking to them the most because that’s where the heat was not affecting me. In both pictures, there were dancing orbs. And when I say dancing, sometimes orbs appear in pictures. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, they’re like little blue lights. Sometimes they’re bigger than little. And those are when your metaphysical friends, your spirit guides, your, um, loved ones from the other side of the veil are finding their way into your world. And in one, if you know, it gets to see that it was the two of them together. It was the two orbs together in one, the picture, the orb, made a heart. And then the other one, which I completely missed actually the first time I looked at the pictures, but when I did see it a second time, I saw that it looked like the shape of an angel, which I found fascinating. My orbs have always been circles, and everywhere I turned inside the condo or out, I could just feel how close they were, possibly closer than I had ever felt them together. 

(06:44) They were standing just so close and by me, you know, holding me up. And that was such a surprise to see that I could experience this differently than I had along this journey. And that, you know, grief keeps surprising me in good ways. You know, not just bad. And why I’m sharing that with you is you don’t have to wait for someone to pass to have the gifts that grief brings to us. The gift that grief brings to us is that it naturally opens up our intuitive abilities. It naturally opens the crown chakra or at the top chakra or which is where we allow the communication and from the other side of the veil, or at least that’s been my experience, that even when people are very linear and shut down, there still is this opening at the crown chakra there’s still this hope that there is something bigger out there and so something happens naturally for us where we open up when someone crosses because we just naturally want to stay connected to them. 

(07:58) And that is really that opening up is really the heart of receiving anything you don’t have to open up to a person that you’ve lost. You could open up to the divine or the universe or the connective tissue of love that connects us all, and it starts simply with intention. You know, grief put that intention in my heart naturally when I was in that condo, whether I realized it or not, I can look back and see. I did it. I wanted my parents to be there with me to say goodbye to their home. I never asked, but I wanted them to tell me that it was okay to let their home go. And what was interesting was as I walked around the condo and I, and I said goodbye to each memory that was coming to me, and so there was the place where my Dad’s recliner had been, where he had held my children. 

(08:58) He just had this gift when they were younger, especially my son, who was colicky. Soon as I put them into his, into his arms and laid them against his chest when they were small babies, they would immediately fall asleep. He just had this very grounded, peaceful energy that they responded to. There was the place where we had many, many cups of coffee. There was the porch to where they would do; they had, they had this giant bubble system like bubbles that you blow the kids when they come over, they take them out there and blow bubbles for hours and hours, mind-numbing amounts of time. And I just kept going through and thanking them for each of those things. And in that gratitude, letting it go letting the physical space that it held, that memory goes so that it could take the memory with me. 

(09:51) And so what I discovered through this day that was so amazing that I want you to hear and really, really drink this in, is that for us to receive, you know, more love or money, more stuff, whatever the thing is, you want more of. A new job, more clients. In order for us to receive, we have to make space for receiving, which means letting go, you know, the universe abhors a vacuum. So creating a vacuum naturally drinks in, it sucks in more of something else. And so what I would ask you right now in the surprise gift I got from Friday was what is it that you can let go of that isn’t serving you? What gratitude can you give it for having been of service to you previously that you can just let go of right now? Because in that letting go, you will naturally create space for more receiving. It’s not an easy thing to do. 

(10:57) In a way, it was such a gift the way all of this happened because when I had the condo, and I knew I needed to sell it, you know, there were a few months where I couldn’t functionally sell it because I wasn’t, the probate court hadn’t approved me yet as the executrix, but the minute that I was approved, I already had people who had asked me to let them know when it was going on the market and so on, uh, you know, a few months ago on a Friday, I let those individuals know I hadn’t listed it at, didn’t have a real estate agent and by Monday I had three offers above asking. So it was very quick. And then it was just the matter of the probate courts processing the rest of the paperwork for us to be able to close. But all of this did not involve me at all. 

(11:47) There was nothing other than me making that first call to let them know it was available. I did very little, and that’s probably a good thing because had I had to do some things, my guess is I would have dragged my heels on it just because letting go is so hard, right? It’s a request. When we let go of something, a request of the universe happens to move forward, and when we don’t let go, it anchors us in some past points. And so in this journey of letting go of this condo, what was so fascinating was that it just, without my forcing it. 

(12:32) Releasing the physical space that held the memories propelled me forward and hours after the closing, I received a tremendous download of a brand new body of work that I am meant to teach and a course load around receiving and all of these new guides came in, and that told me they’ve been waiting in the wings apparently, but they needed me to be ready. They needed me to have the space. And so often I get, as you know, how can I hear my spirit guides? How can I hear more of what the other side is saying? Well, the thing is, it’s just the energy of receiving, and in order to receive, you must let go. You must make space. So right now, my question to you is, what is it that you are holding onto that you know is time to let go, no matter how hard you think it is and what is your first step to saying goodbye to it? 

(13:32) Is it thanking it for its gifts? Is it to trust that if it is time to let go, that you will be okay without it? Whether it’s your fear or an object or something else, trust that because the universe is calling you forward into your future always at every moment because the love that the universe that the divine has for you naturally wants expansiveness for you. But whatever you hold onto that you are meant to let go will slow that process down, and you deserve deserve more than that, and you deserve better of that today. Well, my gift, my surprise gift from this grief journey help you and discover something you were meant to let go of and begin the process of letting it go. I wish you much love today and much of joy, and if there’s anything I can do to help you, definitely email me. I love questions. You can reach me patty@pattylennon.com 

thanks 

Patty (14:28) Hey, thanks for listening. And if you know someone who needs to hear this message, please share this podcast with them. And if you’re feeling really generous, I love for you to leave us a review on your favorite podcast app. It helps us reach many more people, and it fills my heart with so much joy when I hear what you had to say about what you heard. I am cheering for your success have been amazing day.