Patty is talking with Victoria Cryder today. Victoria is certified EFT practitioner and a founding member of the Newtown Trauma and Relief and Resiliency project.
She works with clients who seek to realize and create the life they want and are meant to live, helping them break free from the past and step into their divine selves. Offering a unique blend of mind/body/soul understanding along with heart-centered intuition helps her clients achieve remarkable results.
When faced with a traumatic event or memory, our natural reaction is to try to push it away and forget it ever happened. However, repressing these memories can have a profound negative impact on our lives, keeping us from achieving our full potential. Through EFT tapping, we can work through these traumas, releasing the emotional charge and allowing us to move on.
In this episode, you will learn the following:
1. How trauma can impact our lives in ways we may not expect
2. How EFT tapping can help us to release trauma and heal
3. How working with a practitioner can be different than doing self-care tapping
Links:
thetappingpractice.com
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0:00
Victoria is guiding me and tapping through all of the sudden a memory from my childhood will pop up. And that’s the thread. That’s what’s happened to something in your current life is attached to something that happened in an earlier part of your life and without a modality that gets you deeper to the surface of what’s really going on. You end up staying locked in a relationship to those old events. Welcome to the speaker magic podcast where people who are led by their hearts come to learn the secrets to receiving all the gifts the universe has for us. I’m your host Patty Lennon. I’m an X type a corporate banker turned intuitive coach using a blend of common sense brain science and just a dash of magic. I’m here to help you create abundance in every area of your life and business. Welcome
1:02
Hey there everyone. Welcome to this episode of the space for magic podcast. I’m your host Patty Lennon and today I have a guest that you all have been hearing about for probably years and just didn’t realize it today. Victoria Cryder is joining me. She is beyond many of her accolades. She is my personal EFT therapist. So when I’ve talked to you and said, I use tapping, I was tapping on this. I was with my tapping therapist. I was talking about Victorian, we’ve been working together for years. And I had the pleasure of bringing her into the magic lounge, our membership, where she hosted a guest q&a And the questions were so alive and so vibrant. I knew we had to bring Victoria on to share her wisdom with all of you. So with that, welcome, Victoria.
1:55
Oh, thank you so much, Patti. I’m so thrilled to be here. And, again, always so grateful for your support. And as I said last time, you’re my biggest cheerleader, and I’m so grateful.
2:09
Oh my goodness, I am I am your biggest cheerleader. Well, I think you’ve got a few at home. But professionally, I probably am your biggest cheerleader, I was so grateful when I found you. Now, for you listening, I do want to give you a heads up. Right before Victoria and I started attempting to record this episode, we encountered so many technical issues. And I share that because we can find a lot of times on our journey that you hit road bumps, and you can easily fall into a place where you take them as signs, signs that they mean something. And yet, if your nervous system is able to stay calm through the information you’re receiving, even if it doesn’t look like the way you want it to look, you can often find conclusions you wouldn’t have found otherwise. And that to me is maybe the biggest if not one of the biggest benefits of using tapping is the transformation it makes to your nervous system and how you interact with the world. So, Victoria, before we kind of jump into all of the benefits of tapping and EFT, can you first of all, share with our listeners anything you think they need to know about you professionally. And then share your story of how you became a tapping therapist, which will be a repeat of what we shared in the magic lounge. So for those of you from the membership, this will be information you did hear once before. I think there’s always new grains of truth to gather from any story.
3:48
Yeah, absolutely. I’m first as Patty mentioned about the issues with technology, I just have to give a shout out that Patty’s unbelievable with technology and she walked me through it. So thank you for that Patty. Because I was tapping I was tapping underneath my desk and you
4:07
probably going to be the one of the only people that would think that and Marian my VA is going to be one of the first people to hear this episode when she’s getting it up on the site and she will probably be giggling to herself.
4:22
Okay, so thank you. So yes, I was able to share my story. And so to kind of start with what’s happening now currently, I’m a certified EFT practitioner and I work both virtually and in person and I have an office in Sandyhook, Connecticut where I see people in person and my story of how I started and this goes way back to my childhood as it often does. That I had a grandmother who was from the old country and interpreted dreams and was very intuitive, and I was fascinated as a child, and she taught me a lot and early on, I was noticing that I had some intuitive abilities, I was dreaming a lot. And I became the friend that people turn to, for their dream interpretation and just just overall guidance, so it just naturally happened. As I grew up, I was very interested in not only dreams, but a lot of new age type things, as many of us have been. But my professional life took a very different path, a wonderful path, I was in international travel. But when my son, who’s now 24 was a baby and he was having some medical issues earaches I started looking to natural medicine alternatives, because I didn’t like the way he was being treated by the traditional medical community just more and more prescription medication. Long story short, moving into more natural remedies for the physical. I was introduced or reintroduced to energy medicine, energy therapies, and tuning back into the awareness that I had always known that there was a lot more going on than what we just could see in the physical world. So yeah, in my journey, restarted my journey rather of beginning to study, different energy modalities, different healing modalities, many different types, some Reiki to shamanism to reading Tarot cards as well. And finally found EFT. And it just changed my life. I started using it for myself, started to see what was possible that led to a training and little by little started to pursue, EFT. Fast forward to the Sandy Hook tragedy that happened at that time and already trained as an EFT practitioner. And we were developing a foundation to begin using EFT to address the trauma of Sandy Hook. And there was a trauma specialist who came in and I really started focusing on EFT for trauma at that point, and since that time, have just continued to grow an EFT and trauma and really recognizing that we all have trauma. And trauma is not just the major traumas as a sandy hook or a 911. But we all have the little T’s and our big T’s in life.
8:00
I love that you finish there, because that was my first question was, you know, you talked about little t and big t when we were together last and I love that. So can you talk a little bit about what that means to have a little tea versus a big T? Because I think so often people hear the word trauma and they do associate it with something violent or something really big. That’s almost easy to identify as trauma. And yet, that’s not the case. We get traumatized all the time, depending on how we’re built, potentially. Yes. So can you talk a little bit about that?
8:44
Yes, absolutely. Again, often we hear the word trauma, and we reflect on our lives and think, wow, I haven’t had anything. I trauma, again, not violent, not abusive. I don’t have trauma in my life. But the reality is, we all have trauma. And when we begin to look at our lives, from a little T and a big T standpoint, we start to see what we really mean by trauma. Those are moments in time, experiences that impacted us, imprinted us with emotions that still live in our bodies that still show up today. So a lot of our patterns, a lot of our behaviors and fears are from our past little T’s and certainly within that there’s possibly big T’s as well. But when we start really looking at the little T’s more as the moments those experiences in our life, when something happens And to impact us to change things for us to create emotions in us, that we just put away, maybe not even aware that they’re still there. So they’re not the big things all the time. And most of the time, it’s the combination and the build up of all the little T’s over time. And until we really start to do this work and go into the subconscious, our logical mind doesn’t recognize the little T’s in our life. So it’s really important to feel into them and to get into the subconscious and realize that all of us have little T’s, the whole timeline of little T’s.
10:53
And for you listening, I just want to maybe give you an example of what this looks like when you’re in a situation where you’re using EFT with a practitioner, and we’ll talk about the difference between doing it on your own and doing it with a practitioner. So when you’re, when a practitioner is working with you, when I’m with Victoria, let’s say we’re tapping because something that someone said to me, like hurt my feelings and is creating rage in me in a way that doesn’t match the situation at all. It’s completely illogical. That’s a lot of times how you’ll kind of know there’s trauma underneath the surface is your reaction to a situation is illogical. And Victoria is guiding me and tapping through all of the sudden a memory from my childhood will pop up. And that’s the thread that’s what’s happened is something in your current life is attached to something that happened in an earlier part of your life. And without a modality that gets you deeper to the surface of what’s really going on. You end up staying locked in a relationship to those old events. Do you think that’s a fair?
12:04
Yeah, Patti, that’s absolutely perfect. And that’s how we always start, right. We don’t jump in and start searching for those memories. What happens is, when you come in, we look at what’s happening today. What’s causing you discomfort today? What patterns, behaviors, are you in that, you know, aren’t serving you, as Patty said, you’re reacting in ways that you know, are not logical, it’s coming from somewhere deeper. So we begin by just following the thread, as I call it, as we talked about last time going to the room. And as we start to look at what’s happening, it leads us to those memories to those little ts, again, moments in time, that the logical mind wouldn’t think, oh, no, that was no big deal, or I haven’t thought about that in years. But when we when we move into the emotional body, and the subconscious, we realize what happened in that moment, still stuck. And it’s causing the reactions that are showing up today.
13:21
I’ve shared this many times on this podcast before I just have had so many points of transformation because of EFT because of tapping. I’m a huge proponent of it. But for someone who’s Victoria for someone’s listening, and actually isn’t familiar with EFT tapping at all, without a visual because that makes it a lot easier. Give a just a general description of what tapping actually is what EFT actually is.
13:49
Sure, the best way to describe tapping is it’s a combination of Chinese acupuncture, and modern psychology. And really what that means is, instead of sticking needles into meridian points in our body, as you might have experienced if you’ve had acupuncture done, we’re tapping on points of the body. These are meridian points, also known as energy centers. So we’re using our fingertips to tap on points of the body. While we’re tapping on these points. What’s going on in the body is twofold. One, it’s sending a signal to the amygdala, which is that reptilian part of our brain, our fight flight or freeze alarm system in the brain that keeps us on high alert. What we know through research is when we’re tapping on these points are literally sending a signal to the amygdala to begin to calm down, that it’s safe to calm down. We don’t have to stay on high alert. The other The thing that’s happening is we’re beginning to reduce the stress hormones in our body, particularly cortisol, which is that stress hormone we’ve all experienced. So as we’re tapping on the points, we’re calming the brain, or calming the body, our nervous system is coming to a place of safety. Now, when we’re in that place of safety, our ability to access emotions, to access memories, to be in the emotions in a safe way, is completely and truly profound. You cannot get there from the logical mind. So the combination of what’s happening in the brain and the body is allowing us to access memories, emotions that are tucked underneath in our subconscious. So when we do that, we’re able to move through situations experiences, challenges, in a much different way, allowing the emotions to come up. Because, as I might have mentioned, in the last call, the emotional body always overrides the logical mind. So we can’t cognitively think our way to healing, we have to feel it.
16:28
So I bring up EFT, tapping a lot in the receiving school. And as a solution for people who get to a point where, you know, they’ve had some progress, they’re doing the work in the receiving school, things are starting to shift for them. Your money’s flowing in, people are treating them differently, they’re seeing signs, and then all of a sudden, they’ll hit a block, they’re not expecting, maybe, you know, if support is a big trigger for them, and they’re starting to feel support, all of a sudden, the support will feel uncomfortable, or it will scare them, or the money will come in, but they find that they’re not trusting that it’s going to stay. And when they hit these points, if it becomes really intense. This is a place where I find tapping is so helpful. Can you talk a little bit about how you know trauma? Were anything that sort of locks us up from our early life can keep good things from coming?
17:31
Yes, absolutely. Because when we hold on to trauma in the body, we don’t allow ourselves to feel completely safe. And when we don’t feel safe, we put up blocks. And these are blocks we’re not putting up from the logical mind, but are happening from the body.
17:54
I love that. And then I think it’s illogical for people that early experiences could really keep them from enjoying something they know they want. And what have you found as possible, you can either use me as an example or other clients as an example when, when these blocks that they don’t realize are they are are released, what are the kinds of shifts that people can experience?
18:22
Oh, all types of shifts. Because what’s happening is, again, using that word safety, which I use quite a bit, because once we feel safe in our bodies, we are able to move forward creating whatever we want. So there are shifts in our physical body. There are shifts in money and receiving and career there are shifts in relationships. And some of the most profound I think shifts come around relationships. Why? Because for a lot of us, issues and relationships, you know, cause a lot of deep pain at times, and even relationships with people who are no longer in the physical world. It allows us to heal, because we feel safe now to really look at the entire picture. We feel safe to maybe move into compassion and forgiveness. So there’s a lot of healing and shifts around relationships. And it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to have a physical relationship with that person. But there’s a peace now with that person. So a lot of shifts with relationships but also shifts in following our passion and our path. And as I tell people, I would not be doing this right now. What was my passion and this gift of being able to serve with EFT, if I didn’t do my trauma work, I’d never would have been able to create this. And, you know, there was a time where I thought it wasn’t even possible. So within myself doing what I’m doing now has come from my own work around my own trauma. So when we want to create, we want to move forward, we want to heal relationships, it’s possible to shift in all areas of our life once we feel safe and release those blocks.
20:35
I love that now, for people listening who are familiar with tapping or familiar with EFT. But more familiar in the guided videos, I’m constantly on my soapbox saying, when you’re tapping along with videos with pre scripted video taps, which are great, it is completely different than actually working with a practitioner. So for you listening, if you think, Oh, I’ve tried tapping, I’ve done it with, you know, whatever tapping video script you watched, and you tapped along with someone, it is completely different, because it’s not a personalized experience. So Victoria, can you talk a little bit about the difference between doing it, as you say, for self care, versus doing it in a therapeutic setting?
21:23
Yeah, absolutely. So we have the self care, and the clinical of EFT again to self care is often when you are watching the videos or tapping on your own. And self care tapping is so needed and so important. But basically, that is being used for just general calming, or a very small experience in your life that you want to move through on your own. It’s more like a practice, such as meditation or yoga, something you would do daily, to keep your energy system healthy to keep yourself calm, which is so important. But it is not meant to deal with our traumas, our little T’s and our big T’s. In order to do that, we move to the clinical form of EFT, which again just means working with someone like myself as a guide, who is able to guide you and move you to those deeper places in a safe way. So it’s a very different process. And yes, what often happens is, and I run into this a lot, people will say, Oh, I tried tapping, and not much happen. I don’t really you know, see the big deal. And as we talk about it, it’s because when we’re tapping for self care, we want those major shifts, we’re looking for them, we’re hoping for it and it doesn’t happen. And then we think, Oh, this doesn’t work. But we have to remember that self care, tapping is not meant for the deeper work. It’s a beautiful self care practice that as I tell every one of my clients to do, I encourage it, I help you with the practice. But think of it as just that daily calming practice, versus the clinical of going much deeper to the traumas and what I tell people as well. Even myself tapping for all of these years, if I hit something that I know is big, I will connect with one of my colleagues to tap with me, because I know our own egos, won’t even allow us to go deep because it wants to protect ourselves. So even for myself and even for other practitioners. When we hit something big, we need that guidance because we just are not meant to go there on our own.
24:16
Yeah, I love that. That difference of description because I find having been that person myself. I had us tapping videos. For years. I had done it at least two or three years before I met you and I started working with you. And I went into it. The reason I actually reached out to you was because at that point, I had fractured my spine. And I wasn’t healing and I wasn’t healing through Western medicine and I wasn’t healing through the modalities I actually already knew. And I was really hopeful that a very specific tapping script that’s what I thought I was getting with my helped me get in there and help me release Whatever wound was at this, like, sacral part of my body. And so I came in with a lot of the preconceived notions I see other people have. And so I find myself constantly banging the drum against you have to see someone one on one to get the true benefit of this modality because it’s so powerful. And I think it’s so needed.
25:24
Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, it’s the the duality, right? The Pro and the con, that it’s wonderful now, that tapping is so accessible, and people are aware of it, that’s a good thing. But unfortunately, because of that, a lot of people are trying it on their own, and not getting the results. So it’s really important to educate that. And I so appreciate that you share that with your audience, because it really is a significant piece. And we do know that in the moment, we can tap on our own and have some relief, take a deep breath like it is a tool in the moment that can take us from this anxiety to feeling calm are all on our own. And that’s beautiful. But that’s different than really going deep and healing and moving forward into transformation.
26:24
Yes, and, you know, I think there’s also another piece, it’s just occurring to me now, I see in the receiving school, like something that works similarly, which is that when people, you know, do some of the the work that we do in the receiving school on their own back before we had receiving school open all year round, because we’re just in the process of changing it to a 12 month program, but it would be open for eight weeks close and then open for another eight weeks. And during the eight weeks, people said they felt like their breakthroughs were bigger. And what I started to notice is those breakthroughs are bigger because you’re doing it alongside another person someone’s holding space for you, which by its nature makes it safer.
27:15
Yes, absolutely.
27:18
And that’s what I see happens with tapping, if I’m doing it on my own, it’s also that I need you are holding the space for when I’m gonna go really deep.
27:27
Exactly, exactly. You need that guidance, you need that support to bring you to those deeper places that on your own again, hard to access and not meant to access on your own.
27:44
Yes, yes, exactly. And, you know, when we looked at changing the receiving school, when we saw, you know, things were evolving on the planet vibrationally and what people needed, that was, you know, one of the shifts we made was to go to having it available year round coaching year round, so that there was that party alongside people as they were doing this work. And also adding tapping in as part of the offering. Because doing that alongside the work to me, it makes it so much more powerful. Now, if someone does want to explore working with you, you can go to the tapping practice.com, which we have, in the show notes to get in touch with Victoria, because I know people are probably listening and saying, oh my goodness, this is what I need. And is there any other way that you would want people following you or finding out about you,
28:40
Victoria, that’s the main way through my website, or they can email me directly as we talked about, I’m really old school, you come to you just text me or email directly to me or just go on my website. And I offer you know, a complimentary consult call just so we can sit and chat, an opportunity for you guys or anyone to ask more specific questions for me to learn a little bit about what you’re looking for, and just to really see if it’s a good match, because I want people to feel totally comfortable beginning a process like this because, you know, I know it’s stepping into deep healing and transformation is not easy. It really isn’t. And we want to feel comfortable and safe. So I really try to give people that time and opportunity to really connect and have all their questions answered before they start.
29:47
You know, one of the things that I also love working with you, Victoria and for you listening by the way I do want to make this part clear because sometimes I think people’s here I’ve been working with Victoria for years and you think I’m like seeing her on a regular basis for years. I just don’t work like that, you know, and then you take breaks. And then you come back when something new rears its ugly head. But one of the things you always do for me, Victoria is you’ll say, You know what I’m really seeing men, then you kind of give me a blanket awareness of, you know, a pattern that’s happening in the world at this time, based on your experiences with your clients. And I’m curious, we’re recording this in September, this won’t be dropping, I think until late November. But right now, what are the big themes that you’re seeing in people’s healing journeys and their, their self care, and whatever else is showing up for you?
30:41
Well, I think the people who have been doing the work, and going deep, I think, this summer, the last few months, it is taken myself included, to almost a place of questioning, like what’s going on here, I’ve been doing all this work. And I almost feel like it’s gotten more difficult, or I’m struggling a little bit more. And what I feel is happening, what I’ve been seeing is this timeframe to really calling us to go deep, deeper than we ever have before. And I think now is about trust that okay, we are being supported, to go deeper, and the world outside has been very chaotic. There’s been a lot of fear out there. And now it’s time for us to really go deeper. All summer, I felt like there was more struggle. And I feel like what I’m just seeing literally in the last couple of weeks, moving to the other side of it, beginning to go deeper, and feeling like oh, okay, all this work that I’ve been doing, I’m beginning to really feel it from a deeper level, moving more into the transformation. So I think it got a little bumpy over the last couple of months. But I think we’re beginning to come through to a place of really feeling safer to be in the deeper places.
32:26
Ah, I love that. There’s so much hope there. Yes, absolutely. Well, thank you so much for being here, Victoria. So appreciate your time and your energy. And of course, you know, everything you do for me, I’m deeply grateful.
32:42
Oh, Patti, you’re welcome. And thank you for this opportunity for me to share with your audience. I so appreciate it. And all you do for me.
32:52
Oh, that’s my pleasure. All right, everyone. So if you’re listening again, we’re going to put this in the show notes, go to www dot the tapping practice.com to get in touch with Victoria. And certainly if you want to check out receiving school, you can go to the receiving school.com and continue to follow us here. And if you know someone that needs to hear this particular message, please, please, please share this podcast with them. It helps us get the word out. And remember, make space for magic. Hey, thanks for listening. If you know someone who needs to hear this message, please share this episode with them. And if you’re feeling really generous, I’d love for you to leave us a review at your favorite podcast app. It helps us reach many more people and it fills my heart with so much joy. When I hear what you have to say about what I’ve shared. I’m cheering for your success. Have an amazing day. And don’t forget, always create space for magic.
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