Just love him…

From the time my son was born he bucked the system, whatever the system was.

Rules and regulations are offensive to him, especially if they feel arbitrary.  So by the time he reached pre-teen years you can imagine the kind of power struggles we were having. 

My husband and I are rule followers from way back.  We are people pleasers.  We have no frame of reference for my son’s worldview.

In my house, I am the enforcer.  My husband is many wonderful things, but a disciplinarian is not one of them.  By the end of 2017 I was exhausted over the constant fights my son and I seemed to have over the most basic standards (like eating a vegetable) and we had epic battles over screen time.

In 2018, I wanted something different.  I sat quietly, dropped down into my soul and asked for help.  I asked my Guides how to change this dynamic.  I wanted to hold my son close and it felt like everything I did pushed him farther away.

When I asked for help the answer I received was quite simple: 

Just love him.

But what about screen time?  I asked.  Confused about the original answer.

Just love him. 

The more I questioned every aspect of parenting I could think of the answer came back over and over.

Just love him.

I will be honest with you.   It felt very hard to follow this advice.  Not that it is hard to love my son. It was hard to not enforce all the rules and regulations we were constantly battling over.    It almost felt like I’d be cheating if I “just loved him.”

But the truth was that my heart hurt always trying to make him do the “right thing” and I could feel it was hurting him as well.

So I followed the advice.  I didn’t give up completely on enforcing screen time regulations and other “necessary” limitations but I powered down a lot – like 80% a lot. 

Instead of saying “Please put down your phone” I said “I love you.”

And you know what ?  That felt a whole lot better.   I could feel myself relax and breathe more deeply when I did it.

Over the course of the year my son and I grew closer and closer.  Now when we talk about screen time it doesn’t create a screaming match. 

Everything in my life feels easier and better because that one relationship (one of the most important relationships in my life) is better.

So why am I telling you this?

There is a lot of energy around intention setting because it’s a new year.  Setting intentions is a powerful way to guide your life and business.  The key is that you set the right intention for you. 

The question I like to start with is “What does my soul most want and need right now?”

When I asked that question last year I uncovered how important healing this divide with my son was.  I also discovered a few other desires I had.  I wanted a new kind of coach – someone who had a bigger vision for business than I did and who also understood soul-alignment, stronger friendships, a better infrastructure in my business.

Each of these desires manifested in 2018 and brought with them loads of residuals gifts in the form of abundance, peace and joy.  I think the key to allowing those manifestations is that each was aligned with what my soul most wanted and needed.

So right now, I’d like you to ask yourself this important question:

What does your soul most want and need right now? 

Once you have the answer drop down inside yourself and listen for the answers on how to make that happen.

It is likely that the answers will take courage. 

Find that courage. 

And if there is a way for me to support you, tell me what that is by posting a comment. 

In love and light, 
Patty

P.S. I love you.