Two weeks ago, my mom’s oncologist sat across from us and told us that my mom’s cancer was not responding to chemo. Medical intervention no longer had a place in my mother’s journey.
Being a mind reader, I recognized instantly that he didn’t hold out a lot of hope that my mom could get better. I quickly set him straight (with my mom’s approval).
“Dr. Smartypants, we appreciate your help up until this point but we also have a strong spiritual belief. We believe in miracles. We believe my mom can get better.” (My mouth smiled but my eyes said “Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!”)
“Even so, it would be appropriate to contact hospice at this time,” he offered gently.
“Are you f**king kidding me?!!!” I screamed in my head. We do not need Hospice! Hospice is for people who are dying. We don’t need THAT kind of help!
Dr. Smartypants included Hospice’s information in my mother’s paperwork as she checked out. She threw it away. She didn’t think she needed that kind of help either.
Later that night a woman from Hospice called my mom to introduce herself. My mom let it go to the voicemail. Hospice lady called two more times. My mom continued to not call her back. She didn’t need THAT kind of help.
I was relaying this story to my good friend and colleague Theresa Robbins. She very gently suggested that my mom and I remain open to what Hospice could do. “Patty, my aunt received help from Hospice for years after she was considered terminal. They are really amazing. Think about it. Agreeing to receive Hospice doesn’t mean you are agreeing to die.”
My mom reached this conclusion on her own. Not sure how. She is just plain amazing. Hospice came and they were, in fact, wonderful. The services they could provide took a huge weight off my mom and to a certain extent off me.
I was so wrong. My mom did need THAT kind of help. I needed THAT kind of help.
Something even more amazing happened after I accepted Hospice’s help in my heart. Other help started to show up and it looked surprisingly like the kind of help I did need.
Perhaps the Universe knows better than us exactly what help we need.
I think so often we refuse help because it doesn’t look like the kind of help we think we need. Maybe if we (I) started accepting ALL the help that came our (my) way things would feel much easier.
How about you? What help are you turning away right now because you don’t need THAT kind of help? Would you consider taking THAT kind of help just for a little while to see what happens? I’d love to hear your thoughts below!
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