In today’s episode Patty continues the conversation on manifesting and how to bring things into our lives. She delves into the topic of letting go of limiting beliefs and how this can be a difficult task, especially when those beliefs are hidden in the shadows.
Here are the steps you need to follow:
1. You can’t always control what happens, but you can control how you react to it.
In order to let go of a limiting belief, you first need to be aware of it. Once you are aware of the belief, you can begin to question it. Why do you believe this? Is there evidence to support it? If not, begin to let go of the belief. This may be a difficult process, but it is necessary in order to move forward.
2. Trust that the universe has your back and knows what’s best for you.
When you trust that the universe has your back and knows what’s best for you, it means that you have faith that things will work out for the best, even if you can’t see how they will at the moment. It means letting go of the need to control everything and allowing yourself to be open to what comes your way. This can be a scary step, but it’s important to remember that you are always supported, even when things seem uncertain.
3. Be willing to let go of what’s not working, even if it’s scary.
This may be a process that happens over time. You may find that you have to let go of the belief multiple times before it is truly gone. But each time you let it go, it will get easier and easier.
Manifesting for Grownups
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0:00
Hey there, Patty here and are you tired of the nonsense and the fluff that kind of goes along with the personal development world, the metaphysical world, the law of attraction world. If that is you, then I have good news. I am hosting my brand new manifestation for grownups five day event on October 17. And it is absolutely free, I would love for you to join me. And during that time, I will show you exactly how to bring into your life, what you most desire, whether you know what you desire at this point or not. And we’re gonna do that in a simple, straightforward five day process 15 minutes a day, called manifestation for grownups go to pattylennon.com/manifest, to grab your spot and to join us. How do you let go of limiting beliefs? And I think that’s something that again, is one of those. It sounds grating in concept. But how does it actually work? How do you actually let go of limiting beliefs and especially when they’re hiding in the unconscious in the shadows. Welcome to the space for magic podcast where people who are led by their hearts come to learn the secrets to receiving all the gifts the universe has for us. I’m your host, Patty Lennon. I’m an ex type a corporate banker turned intuitive coach, using a blend of common sense brain science and just a dash of magic. I’m here to help you create abundance in every area of your life, and business. Welcome.
1:45
Hey, there, welcome to this episode of the space for magic podcast. I’m your host, Patty Lennon. And today, I’m continuing a conversation that we’ve been having the last couple of weeks on this podcast that I’m having in my community to talking about how we bring things into our lives, how we manifest if you resonate with that word, but if you don’t just you know why things happen, the way they happen and how to navigate the world. When we’re talking about how to navigate it from a spiritual or metaphysical standpoint, what stuff is happening to us that was going to happen no matter what, what have we attracted into our life? How can we make things happen that we want to happen. And then underneath all of it is through lines of store storylines of control and letting go and opening up and higher vibrations and lots of words that can get feel a little confusing when you’re trying to make something pretty specific happen. Right now we are in the middle of manifestation for grownups, it’s a five day experience. So if you’re listening to this podcast, when it drops, just know you can still join us in that event. So you can go to Pattylennon.com/manifest, if you want to go deeper with this, we are in the process of accessing what we truly desire. And so this process is very easy to do just 15 minutes a day, today is day three of that process. So plenty of time to catch up. And we’re going to have an entire weekend of catching up this coming weekend for people who don’t have the flexibility to do do it during the week, days. And so today, we’re moving into a part of the process where it’s really about letting go of limiting beliefs, like how do you let go of limiting beliefs? And I think that’s something that again, is one of those, it sounds grating in concept. But how does it actually work? How do you actually let go of limiting beliefs and especially when they’re hiding in the unconscious in the shadows. So on this episode, I’m going to cover all of those things at it probably from a different perspective from a different angle than maybe I’ve talked about them before, because I am going to be sharing with you a story that I’ve never told in public for sure. And very few people know in general, there’s going to be people listening that actually know me very well that have been part of my life and matt’s life that’s my husband’s or part of our life for as long as we’ve been married. We just crossed the 20 year anniversary mark that don’t know this story and it’s about us. It’s a story I haven’t told is actually one of the stories that we ended up pulling out of the memoir that was make space for magic my book. And when we start to pull out stories out of that book, that’s when it became it went from being a memoir. book to a nonfiction book. And the reason we made that transition from memoir to nonfiction was there were pieces of my story of my journey, that at the time that I was writing that book, and it was four years ago, now, My children are just too young for me to have them exposed to all these stories, not that any of them are stories that they can’t eventually now and this story that I’m going to share with you is one that I’m comfortable with them knowing now, it’s just because, you know, when children are going through those preteen and teen years, there’s a delicate balance of what makes sense for them to know and, and what makes sense for them to know later. So here’s the story. When Matt and I were engaged to be married, we broke off our engagement. And it was an incredibly painful decision. And there’s a reason why I’m going to tell you this story. And it has to do with allowing for divine timing, trusting spiritual contracts, and what you know it to be true for yourself, and how to let go in a way that a lot of people don’t often talk about. This is the shadow side of letting go the shadow side of surrender, or the scary side, I would say. So,
6:27
Matt, and I, if you’re not familiar with my husband, and I and our story, we met and fell in love, pretty much the day we met, and I was not the type of person that would have said that back then that wasn’t my, my stick. You know, it’s not what I think is the most important thing to love at first sight or any of that. It’s just our story. And there’s a lot of history to our family. So my grandmother, and that’s grandmother grew up on farms next to each other. And they were close friends growing up. And matt and I never met our grandmothers, my grandmother actually shares my birthday. So I feel a special affection for her. She was the because of that, even though I never met her and she was the first person to know I was going to be a person in existence. My parents decided to tell my grandmother much early on, then they told anyone else because she was actually ill. And they knew she wasn’t going to make it for my birth. So that grandmother and Matt’s grandmother were these women that grew up together. And then ultimately, both of them brought their young children back to the farms that they grew up on during the depression because it was so hard. My grandmother had been in the United States with my grandfather. And my father and his brother were born and they realized they could not afford to raise there. Matt’s grandmother was living in Dublin at the time. And so both of them returned to the country, you know, the countryside of Ireland in the north, and went there to give their children a life while their husbands tried to make money in cities. So I have known Matt’s family my entire life, because when his family eventually did immigrate to the United States, my father stayed in close contact with Matt’s father. However, Matt’s father lived in Rhode Island. And so I saw him and my mother in law, Eileen, I knew them my entire life. But Matt actually did not usually join them when they journeyed down to New York where we lived. So I knew his parents. Well, but I did not know Matt. And so it was a family wedding, where we met. And from that minute from when we’ve met, we’ve been together ever since. So we were dating long distance, then I moved to be closer to where he lived. And we were engaged within a year of meeting each other. But within a few, I’d say 6456 months of our engagement, it became clear to me that we were headed in a direction that was not the right direction. As much as I felt that Matt was the man that like to say he was the man I was going to marry was doesn’t even really do justice to were how I felt about him. I knew that he was the person and I don’t believe that there’s soulmates for there’s only one soulmate for you or you know that there’s only one person you could possibly marry. I just felt the the specificity of our relationship. I knew if I didn’t marry Matt, that I would not marry someone else, at least not for decades, I just felt he was the person I was going to have children with, if I was going to have children, and he was the person, you know, that I was meant to go through my adult life with as my partner. Even with all of that, I could feel that there was something not okay, in our relationship. And so I will just fast forward to tell you that, ultimately, when we did get back together, it was with the help of going through couples counseling. And what we uncovered in that space, that protected space was that, you know, I, and I’ve talked about this here, I’m a control freak. Well, I had never dated anyone for any length of time before Matt, the longest relationship I had had before him was three months long. And I was 2028 29 when I met Matt. So it’s quite a bit of time to not have ever had a long term relationship. And I did not know how to share decision making share responsibility in a healthy way, Matt, on the other hand, and he’s given me permission to tell this story. So even though he never listens to my podcast, he does know and I joke about some times, that I say some things on here, because he’s never going to hear them. He does know that this is that I am talking about this man felt insecure around me, he felt that my life was a lot bigger than his, he felt my life experience was bigger than his. And you know, all of these are just stories, right? These are all just stories. But as a result, it made him react in really confusing ways for me, when I would make, you know, a choice to do something, and it would upset him. And we could not find a way to talk to each other about these things. And even though I would say even then before we broke off our engagement, we probably had one of the healthier relationships I knew about at the time, I knew that that little tiny difference in the way we saw the world, that the longer we went without addressing it, that it would eventually become a giant gap. And I knew a marriage would not survive with this. Like these two different points of view, or these two ways of being in the world, I wouldn’t have been able to describe to articulate what I just articulated to you as our challenges until after couples counseling. I just knew something was wrong, something was not right. I didn’t have any experience, really to call from to even tell what was off in our relationship, because as I said, I had no long term relationships behind me. Matt, on the other hand, had had multiple, long term relationships. And so I had thought maybe it was something with me, maybe there’s just something not right. In me, maybe there’s something that’s just not capable of being in a relationship with another person. And that caused me to stay in the engagement for probably a couple of weeks after I had this awareness that this is not okay for us. But someone said something to me at one point about someone else’s engagement breaking off, and the reason for it. And the way they expressed it was even as I signed my name to the slip paying for my wedding dress, I knew I’d never wear it. And there was something in that. The way they said that. That just It shook me there was just something too close to my own truth. And so I talked to Matt, and we broke off our engagement. And it was a horrible time. I mean, I was heartbroken. Matt was sick to his stomach. And at the time Matt was very resistant to go for couples counseling, and because the engagement was broken off and it was really me who initiated it. But looking back, we both knew it was necessary. He was ready to do things differently because we broke off the engagement and so at that point, he agreed to go for couples counseling in that time, that I broke off that engagement created some seeds of understanding about what letting go truly mean. So at the beginning of this podcast, I said We’re going to talk to you about letting go and limiting beliefs. The thing with limiting beliefs is that limiting beliefs often run underneath the surface. You can always point to them and say, oh, yeah, that’s my limiting belief. That’s my limiting belief. What you can see, though, is things that don’t work, things that don’t work. And that you sense, you’re engaging in a very repetitive pattern in a typical pattern. And so where my engagement to Matt was concerned, or my relationship to Matt was concerned, I could feel that something wasn’t working, I could also feel that I just kept trying to engage it from the same place. And it wasn’t working. Right. And so I couldn’t have told you what my limiting belief was. But I could tell you, there was a limitation there. And so I had to let it go. I had to be willing to let go of my marriage. And I did it. I mean, the amount of crying and devastation I felt, I really can’t put into words. And it’s kind of hard to even describe it at this point, because man, I have been married for so long. And it’s not the biggest piece of our story. But I can tell you, it was earth shattering. When I made that choice. And I made that choice. Not thinking, oh, there’s someone else out there for me not thinking, Oh, if I do this, this will fix everything. It wasn’t any of those it was, I know what I desire. And it’s a healthy marriage with Matt. And I know we can’t have it from this point that we’re at right now. And I have to let it go. I have to believe that this is not enough, I have to believe that the divine has something better for me. And even though I think it’s matt, and even when I broke off the engagement, I’ll say I didn’t think that Matt would never be a part of my life. I just knew I was ready to change. But prior to that breakup, Matt wasn’t he wasn’t willing to engage in new behaviors. And I knew it required me changing, but it required his willingness to change, which he didn’t have prior to that breakup. And I didn’t know if he would, but I also knew I couldn’t go forward the way we were. And when we let go of something and put it in the hands of the Divine, put it hands in, in the hands of the universe. And I hear this conversation a lot. You know, there’s often this expectation that here divine, I’m going to hand it off to you, and you’re gonna fix it and make it exactly what I want. You’re gonna give me something that I want, right. And in that moment, I didn’t do that. That was not where my head was, I truly believed that there was a possibility that I was looking at being single. Not that there’s anything wrong with being single. It’s just I wanted to have a marriage and children, that there was a possibility that I was giving all of that up by breaking up with Matt, because I knew I wasn’t willing to settle for something that wasn’t sufficient. And sufficiency is something different than abundance. sufficiency is an experience of completion of wholeness inside of our relationship, whether that relationship is money, or with another person’s romantic, whether it’s in parenthood, whether it’s in respect to your career, you can be in a experience of wanting to attract abundance, but every moment you want to be in an experience of sufficiency and sufficiency, actually, is the feeling of abundance in the present moment. Right. It’s the feeling of, of having plenty right of having sufficiency of having wholeness. And I was unwilling to have an insufficient marriage, right, even if it meant the alternative was no marriage, or possibly no matt. And that space is incredibly scary. It’s incredibly scary. And it’s an also unnecessary space for you to hold for yourself, for you to have, what you most desire, when what you’re holding on to is insufficient, and you need to let it go in order to have something better, that letting go can’t come with conditions. It can’t come with conditions. And so I often get asked inside our communities to explain letting go tell me how to let go and I have, but this is the piece that I think sometimes people don’t want to hold on to as tight li as the Letting go means not having to do the effort anymore. And that is true. So it’s no longer trying or efforting. And it’s also making space for maybe an outcome that isn’t desirable to you. Knowing though with total and complete faith, that the divine knows what’s best for you, that you may end up not receiving what you think you desire, you are going to receive, though, what the divine knows is best for you is for your highest and best good. And it’s in that letting go, that you also then have to embrace trust, you have to embrace trust. And this is the same experience, Matt and I had when we were in financial hardship many years later, and the debt in our life who’s really big. And, you know, it was probably me who initiated this. More than matt, because he tends to be a little more optimistic than I am, in ways that are probably balancing to me. But you know, I’d said at some point we have to face that foreclosure may be in our future. And in that moment, when I was saying that, it wasn’t that I didn’t want my home, it wasn’t that I wanted to lose my home and be potentially like living in a small space with my two kids or living with family members for a short time or whatever the solution was going to be, which again, just having those options is a privilege. But not what I had built our life for certainly not what we had worked for. When I faced the fact of foreclosure, I didn’t do it, though giving up. And that’s the difference between giving up and letting go are very different. I did it in the spirit of I’m handing my home over to you, I’m handing the worries of my home over to you, I’m going to do my best. But I’m also allowing for closure to be one of the options on the table. And I’m going to trust you the divine you the universe, that that is only going to be what’s happening if it’s for my highest and best good. And so when I, you know broke off the engagement, I did it, wanting the marriage, but yet handing it over to the Divine and saying, I trust you, with my heart. I trust you with my heart. That’s a very hard thing to do. And I don’t underestimate if you need to do something similar how hard it is for you that trust, that level of courage is the piece that is typically missing when someone’s saying, but how do I surrender? How do I let go. And the thing is, you have to be willing to have the courage to let go of your dreams, knowing that they will only disappear, because they’re being replaced by something better. And so, you know, with Matt and I, I’m happy to report that within, you know, a couple of weeks, we were well into couples counseling, and within two months of that breakup, we were re engaged. Now, in the course of that time, I didn’t sit there holding, I really believed that our marriage, the way it was going to be was over, you know, the engagement was over. So I cancelled the hotel, the you know, the location for the wedding, the flowers, everything was all canceled, I lost all my deposits. And I see that because I think I wasn’t putting our engagement on hold, I was breaking off our engagement, right. And when you break off the engagement, that means you’re canceling the wedding. And there’s certain actions that need to happen to support that. And I think that’s the same thing. When you let go of something. There are certain things you need to stop doing certain contracts you need to let go of, to honor totally that letting go. And those are those courageous things that are sometimes confusing. And by the way, we’ll be talking about that on day five of manifest manifestation for grownups. So again, you come to Pattylennon.com/manifest, register, we’ll talk about it or you can get the replays where we’re going to be talking about that. Since then, you know, when that happened when Matt and I did have that breakup, I was not where I am with understanding divine timing and spiritual contracts. A lot of this stuff was very new to me and possibly not even part of my like, the way I thought about the world. But I’m, I’ve come a long way since then, that was 21 plus years ago, right. And so I’ve learned a lot since then. And so here’s some of the factors I want to tell you about that exist. And are absolute, and that is that everything has divine timing. So if you feel like I’ve let go, I’ve cleared my limiting beliefs. And the thing that I most desire is not here. I want you to understand there is divine timing, there’s timing involved in things. And I can tell you that the kind of marriage that I have with Matt, now the financial stability that we have now, it came, in part, because of some of the delays, and some of the problems that the universe the divine put in our lives. And they really do feel like they were put in our lives that they were actual contracts, spiritual contracts. And I just will encourage you to trust the things that show up or the things that don’t show up in the time that they do. Because my experience is if you get enough space from them, you can see how they make sense. And so I’ll just talk a bit about spiritual contracts in case the concept is new to you. And so before we joined the planet, as humans, right before we take on our human form, we take on certain contracts, some of them are contracts with other people to play certain roles in their lives. And some of them are contracts to experience certain dynamics or certain interactions, so that we can learn and grow the way we are meant to, and also help others right. So some of our spiritual contracts can be as simple as having a very tiny conversation with someone that you may never see, again, someone that appears to be a stranger. But it may be that that conversation sets them on a path that they would not have gone on, otherwise, unless they met you. And you can feel the spark of that spiritual conversation. If you’ve ever been in a store and, and somehow said something to another person online behind you, or in front of you, or maybe you’re waiting at the airport, and you let someone go ahead of you because they’re rushing. And then there’s this just this, like, fizzy energy inside of you this sort of like the beginning of sparkles, or you get goosebumps, or there’s just something that just makes your heart really expand after or during that experience. When you feel that that is likely proof that you just fulfilled a spiritual contract, something you agreed to do before you came here. And then there’s other people that were assigned to you, right? To help you in similar ways. And you probably can remember, Oh, my God, that teacher said that thing to me, or I remember that person being kind to me, especially when you never even knew their name, right? If you’ve like, can remember a person interacting with you in a certain way, you still wouldn’t have any way of finding them at this point. Right? Those are likely spiritual contracts that were fulfilled. And then we have bigger contracts, we have the contracts with our children, with our parents, and with our partners, our life partners. So the people that you are, you come into partnership with in business in life, your children, your parents, these are all contracted relationships.
28:26
When you have a contract, it’s not that you don’t have free will. It’s just that there’s so much specificity to why that contract, it needs to be fulfilled, that there’s a lot more force in the universe, helping you fulfill that contract. And could you ignore the contract, of course, and if you’re supposed to, like fulfill a contract of helping someone in a certain way, believe me, the universe has plenty of other angels that can send in if you miss a contract, don’t worry, they’ve got others coming in to fill in for you. And, and you’ll find another way to fulfill that contract throughout your life. And then there’s spiritual contracts with experiences. And so now with the distance that I have from our debt, I can confidently say that my getting into you know, over six figures of debt, Matt and I are getting into that that was a spiritual contract. That was something I agreed to ahead of time to have that experience so that then I could teach people sufficiency, and how to exit relationship with debt, and how to be a peace with yourself even when you have less than fighting it. If I didn’t even experience that. How would I be able to teach it? I came into my intuitive gifts when I was in midlife when I was 35. Right? That was a spiritual contract. And my guides have and I’ve shared this here. They said that was the contract I made that’s what I wanted as a soul, so that as I’m teaching people, you know, in the receiving school or in other experiences, how to work with their and tap into their intuitive gifts, that I would understand what it feels like to not be in those gifts. And so a lot of times when we’re having experiences that feels like less than that feels like deprivation, I feel like something’s missing. When we’ve done all the things that can then be proof that there is a spiritual contract at play. Now, this is not me saying that poverty, that discrimination, that the the systemic issues we have are contracted. So please don’t misunderstand me. And I’m not saying that if something difficult is happening in your life, that’s a contract. And you should be okay with it. I’m not saying that at all. Every person’s life is individualized. And I would not brush off the harm the violence, the difficulty that people experience, by calling it a spiritual contract, there is plenty of crap on this planet that should not be happening and is not contracted. It’s not contracted. Except for those of us who have contracted to grow our resources and use our resources to solve problems of inequity. To offer solutions of inequity, I believe there are contracts around that. But if you’re talking about, I’ve tried, and I’ve tried and I’ve tried, but you haven’t let go, then this could be your time to let go. So that the contract can be brought to fruition. Now I know that that’s um, I’m simplifying concepts that are very, very nuanced, very personal. And I’m not certainly saying that if something difficult is happening in your life, well, you must have contracted for it not at all. And in fact, most of the time, I think there are options for what we can do to really move into a space of receptivity, so that we aren’t blocking the good thing. So we are releasing the resistance. And I’ll be talking about that on Monday. So I’ll be doing a special training just on that on Monday. And that is all part of this manifestation for grownups. So if you want to join us for the five day event, please go to Patty lennon.com Ford slash manifest, if you would like to only come for the training about receptivity and resistance, where we won’t be talking as much about the manifestation and you just want a link to that you can go to Pattylennon.com/webinar, and that you can just join the webinar on receptivity and resistance. So I hope that this has been helpful to you. And thank you for letting me share the story with you. It feels good to have this story out in the world about Matt and I, because it was one of those stories that I think is important to tell. So many people in my audience have said that my marriage to Matt is inspiring to them. And I’m grateful for that. Matt and I have a wonderful marriage. And I’m so grateful to him to be by my side and to have supported me the way he has. And I also feel grateful to be able to tell all of you now that that this marriage we have today would not have been possible if I hadn’t let go of it when it wasn’t working. And so I just want you to have a story of surrender. That includes this scary part, but also has the happy ending. So I hope you have a beautiful week, make space for magic. And I would love love, love for you to join us in the five day event. Go to pattylennon.com/manifest and I will see you there.
34:05
Hey, thanks for listening. If you know someone who needs to hear this message, please share this episode with them. And if you’re feeling really generous, I’d love for you to leave us a review at your favorite podcast app. It helps us reach many more people and it fills my heart with so much joy. When I hear what you have to say about what I’ve shared. I’m cheering for your success. Have an amazing day. And don’t forget, always create space for magic.
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